So...

I realize I've been quiet of late. Life has taken me away and I apologize for that. With that said last night saw the culmination of the first season of X-Factor and all I can say is, I saw it coming from a mile away. As I hinted on twitter and as I've told everyone I've spoken with over the last few months, this was a done deal since September. The whole show felt as if it was scripted, so orchestrated from the beginning and the end did nothing to dispel that fact.
With all that said, Melanie (despite her lack of a dynamic high end) was the most viable pop singer left in the competition, but she was far from the most talented and, quite frankly, has already reached her zenith. And while we've seen the truly talented folks like Astro and the precocious Rachel Crow drop by the wayside, they never really had a chance.
Recall when we were introduced to the somewhat plain, unassuming Melanie. She kept her head down, walked with little confidence, but then when she sang, there was a clear, very smooth pretty voice. That's all well and good, but was she really someone you could root for? No, not yet anyway. A story had to be built.
Up next the judges had to pick their top four and yet somehow, despite everyone knowing she belonged there, Melanie was surprisingly sent home. She was devastated and, apparently, so was Simon. In the 11th hour, he realized he made a mistake, traveled to Melanie's home and told her that he'd opened the competition to one additional person to make room for her. So now we've got a Lazurian legend beginning. She was dead in the water, but she's risen to get one more chance at pursuing her dream. Hurray.
Still pretty plain, every week, she sings a little bigger, her makeup and clothes become a bit more polished, but she still lacks a real connection with the audience. The voice is good enough, but her personality comes across as rather dull, is there a way to bring out another side, something the audience didn't even know existed? Sure. Dump her in the bottom three, scare everyone that felt like she was safe. You know that, oh my god, they couldn't possible send her home, could they? We'd better start actively voting for her. But that's not going to be enough, if only there was something cool and secret she was hiding...
Holy crap she's Jamaican! (and let me state for the record that I believe she's actually from Tortola, but since Americans know crap about What a twist? Apparently she was so ashamed at being cool and Jamaican that she had to hide her true self from America and in a crying fit she unleashed the accent and now she has a personality! Well, sorta. It's not like we really saw a huge change in her personality, just a lot of references to the fact that she has a true self and isn't that the same thing, at least on television?
So it comes down to the bottom three. Chris can't win, even though his story is so much more legitimate and compelling (because despite her tears it is harder to overcome an addiction to drugs than it is a bad accent) and the really talented, but bear-like Josh just doesn't look the part, even when they wash his hair. So that leaves our rags to riches, Cinderellaesque tale of Melanie Amaro.
Perhaps all this just happened. Maybe it wasn't engineered. Maybe all the sniping of the judges was also genuine. Maybe, but it sure as heck felt otherwise.

Steve Jones is rumored to be headed out the door. Stuff about him not connecting with the audience. I'd give him another year. It's not like Ryan Secrest was an instant star, it took time for everyone to get comfortable with the show. (And don't we miss Dunkelman?). Those same rumors suggest that Nicole (who was originally hired as his co-host, but moved to the judging table after Cheryl Cole was fired--- oy was that a mistake) could step into the role as host. Let me please say two quick things about that. One, Nicole definitely should not be at the judges table. She's just not very good. She mostly babbles a lot of crazy stuff and rarely said much of interest. Paula really already fills that role. As for moving her to the host role, I just don't see it. She seems like a talented singer and dancer, but frankly thinking on her feet doesn't seem to be a strong suit and the fact that she cries at the drop of a hat doesn't make for a good host. They can't stop the show every week while you get yourself together. If you choose not to bring back Steve, maybe look outside the show for help. Go get yourself a Nick Cannon or something. Someone who will bring some personality to the stage. Just my two cents.

Ahhh Mondays

There's lots to watch on Mondays and after reading what I just wrote there, I realized that that's true of every single night thanks to our 1000 channel universe. Sorry for that then. Instead, let me say that there's some very cool stuff you should be watching on Mondays and here it is.

8pm brings some stuff that sit on that land between "have to watch" and "sorry, didn't realize I missed it (all season)". At the forefront of this is Dancing with the Stars. Let's be honest, the best thing said about this show came from Jon Stewart who begged the question, "You know what they should do, a celebrity edition." Seriously. Does anyone care? I know lots of people watch, but still, why? If Rob Kardashian wins, will my life really be better or will I simply just question the state of America? Certainly the latter. Otherwise you're talking Gossip Girl (oy hello overstayed welcome), Terra Nova (really expensive, but missing something) and The Sing Off (a fine summer series when there's nothing else on) so really, nothing you can't miss.

The one exception is How I Met Your Mother. I do love this show. Aside from the genius of Neil Patrick Harris and his lecherous Barney, all the characters bring something cool to the table. Alyson Hannigan and Jason Segel's married couple is what every couple really would like to be. Cobie Smulders is Canadian, which is cool, but props to her for dropping Mason Raymond's name before he really jumped to the NHL (now he's a regular for Vancouver). Now Ted is whiny, but endearing and we're rooting for Josh Radnor's character to find his wife. Now you might find yourself a little lost should you just pick the show up now and there are lots of in jokes you might miss, but give it a couple of weeks, you'll learn to love it all the same.

Don't worry about Two Broke Girls at 8:30, you won't miss it. Three or four years ago I would have said you needed to watch House. Sure, we know it's terribly formulaic, wrong answer, wrong answer, wrong answer almost kills patient, right answer, victory! But despite Hugh Laurie (who was still better in Black Adder, really) the show has become tired, so go rent some early DVDs if you want a good look at what the show was at it's best. Two and a Half Men is, despite the cast changes, the same show as always and I guess if you loved it before, you will still. It just doesn't do it for me anymore. Sorry Chuck Lorre. Mike and Molly at 9:30 on CBS is really cute, but not really funny (at least to me) and cute ain't enough reason to watch a show (aside from Puppies vs Babies on Animal Planet). CW has Heart of Dixie which, if you don't know what it is, you won't miss it. So, really, nothing. There's nothing to watch. I guess you could switch over to the Sing-Off. It won't hurt.

10 brings Rock Center on NBC. Nothing wrong with another news magazine and Brian Williams is such a nice, funny guy and they've got great news guys doing work for them like Harry Smith (formerly of CBS-- spoke to him, really cool, honest interview), but that name is atrocious. You already have a show on the air in 30 Rock that is making fun of Rockefeller Center (home of NBC) and while this name isn't, it sure as hell sounds like a Wrestling pre-game show. If you love news-magazines, then by all means watch it. If you don't you have two choices, actually one real choice and then another show that's on. CBS offers up the Hawaii Five-O remake. It's ummm, a show. There's some action, some characters and some stories, but should you miss it, you're never sitting there Tuesday morning with your face in your hands, with good reason.

The show you should be watching is Castle, over on ABC. Sure, like Hawaii, it is a show, it has action, some characters and stories, but the difference is that it's a fun show, that has decent action, characters you like (especially Nathon Fillion's Castle) and stories that, sure, don't often stretch your imagination, definitely keep you engaged. Watch it. You'll love it.

So, there you go. That's Monday for you. Tuesdays at up next.

Let's Start with Sunday

And keep in mind that we're just dealing with the networks here. Adding in the cable shows would make this a convoluted process, but we will get to those shows as well.

Sunday is a fun day because we get four whole hours of primetime and not just three. You would think that would provide the networks with the opportunity to give us quality programming. Yeah, sadly it doesn't quite work that way. Football is a big reason for this.

NBC has their Sunday Night football package. This regularly wins the Sunday Night ratings battle and more importantly suctions huge amounts of men away from the other channels. As a result, the offerings are weaker than they might be (why throw a lamb up against football) and leaning more towards female viewers.

For my money there are two and a half shows worth your money on Sundays. Yes, 60 Minutes is still a quality newsmagazine, but I just don'e want to give it the time. America's Funniest Home Videos continues with the exact same format it began with more than 20 years ago (ball--groin--repeat), but it's really only good if there's just nothing else to be found. Desperate Housewives? Oy. If they were headed any faster down the slope there would be an avalanche warning. Chris, you might say, what about The Good Wife? Yes, it's well acted and written, but it just doesn't grab me for some reason. I have tried and tried, but I feel like I'd rather just watch a show about Alan Cumming's character and instead I get too much of everyone else. CSI: Miami..... hahahahahahahahahaha ha. Heh. No.


For my money, I'm still loving The Amazing Race. Yes, it's formulaic, but it's fun and they go places I'd like to go and more importantly, I look at the show and convince myself that I could totally do better than the teams on the show. It's like when I can answer the questions on Jeopardy and I start to believe that I'd really not crumble under the pressure and instead that I'd ring in first and answer each question correctly. I'm taking you down Alex! So, ummm, yeah. Sorry about that. I like Amazing Race. I always find a team or two to root for and it keeps me hanging on through entirety of the season.

The other show...sadly not Pan Am. I think it's also better than many critics have given it credit for, but watching how they take care of the passengers on the plane and feed them hot food and don't keep asking for extra money just makes me too sad to watch.  It hurts. So that leaves a show that hasn't yet premiered, but it's coming this Sunday. Once Upon A Time is one of two fairy tale themed shows coming soon (Grimm being the other on NBC). Once, on ABC, gives us your typical fairy tale story with good guys and an evil witch, but in this story the witch wins. She sets a spell that throws all the characters into our world with seemingly no recollection of their previous lives and it's going to be up to a young boy and his mother (played by House's Jennifer Morrison) to figure out what's going on and how to get everyone back to where they belong. Morrison's private eye is skeptical of the whole affair and really wants nothing to do with the boy who she had given up for adoption at his birth, but if she doesn't stick around and solve the curse, all will be lost. The tone is very similar to Twin Peaks (although, at least we know why these folks are messed up). If the pilot is any indication, you should definitely make the time.

The half-- I'm throwing it over to Fox's Simpsons and Family Guy. They're no longer at the peak of their powers, but they're still better than any of the new sitcoms CBS was throwing at us this year and while I find The Simpsons more consistent than Family Guy, you'll get at least one laugh out of each when you take the time to watch. Now that I think about it, you could also say that about watching David Caruso on CSI.... hmmm... I might have to rethink this whole standard.

Alright, a little convoluted, but the answers are all there, watch Amazing Race, DVR Once Upon A Time and the Simpsons and you'll be good.

Up next (here's a shocker): Monday! And we'll do Monday on Thursday. Ok? Confused? Such is life. Suck it up.

Tim Allen, He's Not the Devil

So Tim Allen is back with a brand new sitcom on ABC, Last Man Standing. Tell me first if this sounds familiar. Man's man, father of three with a tolerant, but likely more-wise-than-he wife. Right, so they've got the formula right. Sure, the kids are girls instead of boys and the wife is played by a different actress (hello Nancy Travis-- So I Married an Axe Murderer shout out!) and his job is different, but the tone is the same. So you may be wondering if you should check out the show. Ummm, it's not bad, in fact. It's kinda funny depending on your expectations.

I look at this sitcom a bit like McDonalds. No one goes there looking for a fine dining experience and if they did, they would be devastated.  But, if you're looking for something that's going to fill you up and a reasonable price, then McDonalds is the place for you. This show isn't pre-gone right wing crazy Mamet. It's not going to break ground like All in the Family and it will never be overly clever like Arrested Development. It will, however, fill you up.

Critics will never love it and it may not win awards, but it's worth a watch. Tuesdays at 8 on ABC.

Well, that took a while...

So there you go. You're whole schedule for the week, as far as the networks go anyway.... wait, you didn't see it. How odd? Fine, I didn't post it all yet. It took me longer than I thought to watch everything (cause I wanna be fair) and also the family demanded my time. As if they can just take it without going through my secretary (they can-- they did). The schedule is coming, plus a review of Tim Allen's new sitcom. Seriously.

The Plan

So, over the weekend I'm going to sit down, do some soul searching and give you guys a complete, day by day look at what you should be watching.
One thing you should be watching, that wraps up this weekend, is Doctor Who. Check it out on BBC America.

Suburgatory is Anything But

I always love watching Jeremy Sisto. He just seems to handle his characters with such ease and honestly, he and Anthony Anderson joining Law and Order brought me back to the show. Cyrus Lupo was a smart, laid back officer and we see much of that same kind of charm with George, the character Sisto plays in the new ABC comedy Suburgatory. His father is caring, intelligent, loves being a friend to his daughter, but also isn't afraid to be the parent.

In the pilot we see George and his daughter Tessa move from the big city to the suburbs after he finds condoms in her drawer and decides that they should flee to the perceived safety of the hinterlands. There, he discovers that safety is relative and the dangers might be a bit more... hard to pinpoint.

The housewives are like sharks, swimming in circles around the chum that is George, the fresh meat of single dad in the neighborhood. Led by queen bee Cheryl Hines, they're scarier than any gang you'd run into on the streets (ok, no, not a chance but it sounded good to write-- seriously, stay away from real gangs, they're dangerous) and frankly having grown up in that suburban environment it still sends chills down my spine when I see them (housewives, not gang members) headed to the mall. Sorry, I digressed again there. Cheryl is really good, she takes a character that could have easily fell into caricature (and there is still some of that) and adding a lot more depth than you'd expect from a sitcom.

The young Jane Levy handles the Tessa role well. She really does seem disgruntled, like all the teens I know. You'll also get a kick out of former SNLer Ana Gastayer and Entourage's Rex Lee in supporting roles. The writing is solid, the acting is there and the show is nestled into that spot between The Middle and Modern Family. It fits well and, I think, has a good chance for success.